It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
