If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize