Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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