I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize