69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
