Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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