I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
