drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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