I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
