garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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