I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
