shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
