the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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