on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
