so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Floor bacon is actually really good
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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