So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
