Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
