Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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