a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
