We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dignity is for republicans.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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