That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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