I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
