Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
