So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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