She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
