Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
