He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
