we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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