I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
