My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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