If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
