its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
