I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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