Do you still have your period?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
