Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize