i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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