Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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