it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
