her vagine was all disorganized.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
