Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
