Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
