I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I believe in your delicious
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
