I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
