You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize