What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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