He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize