____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
