If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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