i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
