dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
