So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
