No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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