I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
