i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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