how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He has the fingertips of a God
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