What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
