we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
