im six kinds of drunk right now
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
