Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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