office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
