Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He has the fingertips of a God
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