Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
