two words: eviction party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I deserve this hangover.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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