So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
