i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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