Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
